Archives for motherhood

Her Legacy

In 2012, we lost my mom just after her 63rd birthday to heart failure brought on by her Lupus.  She was diagnosed with Lupus at the Mayo Clinic in 1994 while in intensive care on a ventilator–they didn’t give her long to live.  But she decided otherwise! She was not one to back down from a challenge and was known for creating her own reality. I grew up in a very small town in Northwest Iowa called Alta, which at the time had about 1,700 people.  Growing up everyone’s moms were either teachers, nurses or moms.  And while my mom

What’s Your Story?

When my little guy was three, I took him to get his hair cut and he was holding it together until they sat him in the chair and tried to strike up a conversation with him.  In doing so, he turned to me, as he began to cry uncontrollably, and pummeled me with his little fists in a fit of rage.  The stylist assumed he was scared of getting his hair cut, so she tried to distract him with more questions and try to make him laugh, etc.  And I can only assume that ever onlooker (especially those that weren’t

Following Our Own GPS

Remember the days before we had GPS or even MapQuest?  When we used to use guidebooks, and maps and go to AAA for a really thorough TripTik?  I can’t even go into a store at the mall and go in the right direction when I come out.  And do even try to show me how to use a compass, I just don’t get it! I really don’t know how we did it?!?! When I still lived in Boston, I had walked from my apartment to my new doctor’s office, and I made it there fine, but on the way back I

Sharing is Caring

When I was growing up there was a girl in my school, who when asked “How are you?”, without fail, would go into a litany of ailments and pet deaths and at home drama that would leave you speechless.  It’s from that experience, I learned to really not tell folks how I’m really feeling when they ask that question.  Because most aren’t really wanting to know the answer. I think most people operate on the premise of: “I’m up to my eyeballs in “stuff”, but I need to carry this burden alone because no one wants to hear my sob

Stop Swimming Upstream

Every time we are walking through an airport trying to find the baggage claim while maneuvering against all of the travelers rushing towards their gates, I make the joke that I feel like a salmon–swimming upstream.  The same goes when I’m trying to get off the subway as everyone is trying to fight their way in.  While it seems amusing in those moments, there are many times in life I find myself swimming upstream when it’s way more overwhelming than amusing. As an event designer, my work life is cyclical.  The New Year is always quiet and then it builds

Self…Meet Ego

Two years ago, Zain was in his first full length play at his elementary school–a hyena in The Lion King.  The drama program at our school is amazing and they go all out in their productions.  So when they called upon the volunteers to help, I couldn’t wait to sign up.  The choices ranged from costumes to t-shirt sales to concessions and everything in between to accommodate all the parents’ skills.  So I signed up for set painting and make up.  I had visions of bringing the Serengeti to the stage and even practiced my face painting skills on Mir

Self-Care or Self-Sabotage

In my Life by Design workshop the first exercise is to fill in a typical week on a planner and then we go through together and highlight each type of activity to see where everyone is actually spending their time.  We highlight everything from household activities, to commuting, to taxiing (there is a difference), to self-care, to faith and everything in between.  It’s amazing for folks to really see how much or little they do of each type of activity. In a recent workshop, one of the attendees colored in her entire evening, every evening, with the color for self-care. 

Breaking Up is So Hard

In 1982, at the ripe young age of 11, I was introduced to “the scale”.  My mom had battled with her own weight, and continued to for the rest of her life, but had become a Weight Watchers leader when I was a kid. So I think she was overly sensitive to seeing my portly prepubescent being and concerned that I was going to go down the same road she had, and hoped to nip it in the bud early.  So she signed me up for TOPS–Taking Off Pounds Sensibly, which met in a downtown basement.  It was me and

Will You Be Sued?

In my Life By Design workshop, each attendee does a check in on where they are at, and then through a series of exercises, they put a plan in place for where they want to go and how they can get there.  It’s a lot to accomplish in 3 hours, but you’d be surprised at how much one can assess when they are given the time and space to just think! But there is a lot of hard work in this process because we can not add to our life what there is no room for.  So you have to

Step 2 to Having It All

Earlier this year I wrote my take on the first step to having it all, which in summary is realizing that you determine what “having it all” means. It’s different for every person and shouldn’t be dictated by the norms put forth by others. So now, it’s time to work on step 2. One of my clients teases me about being a super mom.  Apparently knowing your child’s bus driver’s name is not normal.  And, according to her, who in their right mind would do a road trip with a child! But in all honesty, I’m far from it! Yes,